In Defense of Fizzy Yellow Beer: A Craft Beer Lover’s Manifesto

Craft beer lovers, get off your high horse. Your love of everything hoppy or dark, regardless of how delicious, has triggered your judgment to go skunky. Your quest for a pint of something, anything, with an ABV of 8% or more has caused you to miss some very important things in our world of beer.

For instance, without fizzy yellow beer, how would you know when your beer is cold? The use of graphical blue mountains revolutionized how otherwise dimwitted beer drinkers could decipher when their beer was at a correct temperature for consumption. Sense of touch (and common sense) be damned!

Sure, as a lover of craft, you know how many different types and the names of the hops that go into your favorite Double IPA, but surely that hasn’t enhanced your life quite as much as learning about cold filtering and "triple hopping". The delicious release of flavor from a Barrel Aged Imperial Porter is simply no match for the over- and mass-produced (bland) juice of the people(?).

Of course, craft beer is down right boring compared to the sense of humor displayed by the fizzy yellow stuff. How boring would your Super Bowl Sundays be without the hilarious multi-million dollar commercials force fed to us by the macrobrewers? Frogs and Clydesdales speak volumes compared to actual quality ingredients and delicious beer concoctions.

Let us not forget the health implications of our fizzy friends. When making the choice to put alcohol into your body, it makes sense to go with a low calorie choice. The choice of a quality Barleywine or Stout may exceed your taste expectations and invoke a conversation about flavors or smells, but think of all those calories!

The fizzy yellow beer makers have captured our attention with their clever advertising and "advanced" ways of producing beers; perhaps soon they will start work on capturing our flavor-loving, creativity-enjoying, conversation-desiring hearts.